When i lost a ton of money a few hours ago, I wanted to tell my friend that i lost a ton of money - I wanted him to feel sorry for me. I wanted someone to acknowledge that i had done a big mistake.
It felt like being congratulated for losing shitloads of money or felt sorry for. Retrospecting on this, i think this is the worse thing that i can do. Everytime i do this, i make people feel sorry for me. This is unfair to them - because i'm manipulating them and i havent learnt a thing.
In fact, i will eventually keep making the same mistakes and i become the victim due to my own self-manipulation. Have you ever had any friends that you feel sorry for? If you look deeper into this person, the person is actually manipulating you and himself/herself - and they don't even realize it. Most of the time, they want attention and approval.
I think this is my weakness - wanting attention and approval. But i think it's not best to dwell on it. I need to let it go. That's the hardest thing, letting it go.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Why I Keep Repeating Mistakes
I feel numb. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't know why i keep repeating the same mistake but i can tell you why i started to gamble.
Here's why:
I'm in dire financial state. In a month time, I've got university next month and i have to work less - which means less money in the bank. I got no saving. So i'm desperate for money. I know only one way that i can make money quick i.e gamble on poker and blackjack. I know that blackjack have a negative expectation (it can't be beaten - unless you use a special money management strategy and you can count cards. You need tons of money to absorb the swings and you have to be a good card counter. Plus, it only works with shoes. Casinos (except in Skycity) nowadays only have continuous shuffling machine which makes counting pointless. Fuck i just talking out of my ass now.....). With poker, I know that i'm good at it - but it requires extra concentration and patience. Once you go on 'tilt' or lose focus, everything can fall apart.
There's another way to make money, to start up my own online business or work extra hours at my physio place. I have avoided doing this for the past week as it would take some effort and occupy a lot of my time. I started doing it and haven't got to finish anything. I know this would make me money. Seems like i was being too lazy.
It seems like i'm taking the short route to riches. Looking back, most of the big mistakes i had was because i looked at the short term. You know, i go buy that lottery ticket or instant scratchie. Pop a few bucks in the poker machine in hope to win a quick grand.
Most of the time i never look at the long term. I know that if i fail in the short term, i always got backup to help me with finance. I know this is not good for me or my family. If i keep on depending on them then i keep on making my mistakes and i know they will bail me out.
The other reason i wanted to make money quick is for validation. I do it to show i off - tell people how good i am playing poker or how quick i made the money. Validation is weakness. It means that you're insecure in yourself so you have to prove that you're good.
In my own little fantasy, i want to buy a big house, have a hot girlfriend, cool car, go on exotic holidays etc to show off to friends and family. But does it really matter?
In the end, when you're 80 yrs old, nobody going to give a shit that you have a big house, a cool sports car and your hot girlfriend will eventually have multiple facial reconstruction that she would like look a half breed version of Madonna and your hairy ass. I'm not sure what to do here but fuck, i need to change something.
Here's why:
I'm in dire financial state. In a month time, I've got university next month and i have to work less - which means less money in the bank. I got no saving. So i'm desperate for money. I know only one way that i can make money quick i.e gamble on poker and blackjack. I know that blackjack have a negative expectation (it can't be beaten - unless you use a special money management strategy and you can count cards. You need tons of money to absorb the swings and you have to be a good card counter. Plus, it only works with shoes. Casinos (except in Skycity) nowadays only have continuous shuffling machine which makes counting pointless. Fuck i just talking out of my ass now.....). With poker, I know that i'm good at it - but it requires extra concentration and patience. Once you go on 'tilt' or lose focus, everything can fall apart.
There's another way to make money, to start up my own online business or work extra hours at my physio place. I have avoided doing this for the past week as it would take some effort and occupy a lot of my time. I started doing it and haven't got to finish anything. I know this would make me money. Seems like i was being too lazy.
It seems like i'm taking the short route to riches. Looking back, most of the big mistakes i had was because i looked at the short term. You know, i go buy that lottery ticket or instant scratchie. Pop a few bucks in the poker machine in hope to win a quick grand.
Most of the time i never look at the long term. I know that if i fail in the short term, i always got backup to help me with finance. I know this is not good for me or my family. If i keep on depending on them then i keep on making my mistakes and i know they will bail me out.
The other reason i wanted to make money quick is for validation. I do it to show i off - tell people how good i am playing poker or how quick i made the money. Validation is weakness. It means that you're insecure in yourself so you have to prove that you're good.
In my own little fantasy, i want to buy a big house, have a hot girlfriend, cool car, go on exotic holidays etc to show off to friends and family. But does it really matter?
In the end, when you're 80 yrs old, nobody going to give a shit that you have a big house, a cool sports car and your hot girlfriend will eventually have multiple facial reconstruction that she would like look a half breed version of Madonna and your hairy ass. I'm not sure what to do here but fuck, i need to change something.
Argghhhhhh!!!
I have reached a new low. I've gambled most of my wages away. This is disgusting. I feel really really low. I have turned into a degenerate gambler. A zombie. What have i done to myself?
This sucks. I need someone to kick my ass. I don't know why i do this to myself? I was winning big on blackjack and felt like i could last forever. Eventually the negative expectation of blackjack has caught up to me. I was stupid enough to play blackjack. I know that the house will always win. I lost a shit load of money on that.
I then went to play poker. I was up to about $1000. I played really good. I was able to read their cards and maximize my winnings. Then with one hand, everything blew apart. I had a flush on the turn and one guy had trips and another had two pair. I was way ahead on the turn. Then BANG! i repeater hit the river to fill up with full house. The lucky bastard, he had at least 20% chance to win, while i was way, way ahead. That fucking river cost me $900. I would've been up by $1300.
Fuck!!! Fuck!!!!
Need to reevaluate my life. This sucks man.
This sucks. I need someone to kick my ass. I don't know why i do this to myself? I was winning big on blackjack and felt like i could last forever. Eventually the negative expectation of blackjack has caught up to me. I was stupid enough to play blackjack. I know that the house will always win. I lost a shit load of money on that.
I then went to play poker. I was up to about $1000. I played really good. I was able to read their cards and maximize my winnings. Then with one hand, everything blew apart. I had a flush on the turn and one guy had trips and another had two pair. I was way ahead on the turn. Then BANG! i repeater hit the river to fill up with full house. The lucky bastard, he had at least 20% chance to win, while i was way, way ahead. That fucking river cost me $900. I would've been up by $1300.
Fuck!!! Fuck!!!!
Need to reevaluate my life. This sucks man.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Choosing the most uncomfortable option is almost always the best option
3 Years ago, I was told by my friend to buy property in a rapidly growing area. despite my friend plea to buy it, I choose not to. I choosed the most comfortable option. Today, the house value almost doubled and since then I had almost regretted my decision.
My thinking back then was that I thought it was too risky but I certainly knew the house would have appreciated - but I never knew it would grew a lot more.
The reason I thought it was risky was because I choose the long term pain instead of the short term pain. it was the most comfortable thing to do - doing nothing.
I read a financial book about great market traders called market wizards. it explained the most successful stock traders are usually doing the opposite what the general heard are doing.
For example, if the market would go down, the crowd would usually bet it would go up, thinking there is a lot of value in the stock.
Whereas, the great traders would do the opposite, bet it would go down. most people would feel really uncomfortable betting the market would go down. instead, they would choose the most comfortable option, bet it will go up. This is usually the worst option because the chances the market will fall is greater.
This can apply in anything in life. eg are you currently in a bad relationship and in the future you know it won't lasy. would you choose the long pain - hoping that he/she would change, or the short term pain?
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Changing People - Don't Try It! It's Not Worth The Effort.
Have you ever try to change someone? Perhaps it's a very close friend of yours or someone that you really like?
I've tried it and it seems to either backfire or requires too much effort. Sure, you can change someone but the amount of physical and mental energy can drain you. If your friend is really negative, the negativity of that person will suck all the positive energy that you have. Eventually, your friend negativity has influence you so much that you will BECOME like your negative friend.
Have you ever notice any of your good, positive friends back in high school mixed up with the wrong crowd? Then years later you would see them living on the dole and all drugged up. The reason they were like that because they had were easily influenced by that group of negative people.
This reminds me of the crab in a bucket story. If you try to put one crab in a bucket, the crab will easily get out. But if you put more than two crabs in a bucket, the other crab that tries to get out will be pulled down by the other crab. Making it nearly impossible for both crabs to get out.
However, if you're a strong person and minimally affected by your friend negative energy, the amount of change of the person would not be great. The return in investment is not worth the time spent.
You can change hairstyles, you can change clothes, you can change careers easily, but it's fucking nearly impossible to change a person.
Instead, the best way to influence a person is to lead by example. Lead a positive lifestyle and try not to change people. You can change people, only when they admit they have a problem or they see how well you're doing and they want to copy it.
In my opinion, the best way to change yourself are to lead a positive lifestyle and to have a positive role model/mentor (it can be a someone famous, or somebody close to you) and to keep on doing different things.
I've tried it and it seems to either backfire or requires too much effort. Sure, you can change someone but the amount of physical and mental energy can drain you. If your friend is really negative, the negativity of that person will suck all the positive energy that you have. Eventually, your friend negativity has influence you so much that you will BECOME like your negative friend.
Have you ever notice any of your good, positive friends back in high school mixed up with the wrong crowd? Then years later you would see them living on the dole and all drugged up. The reason they were like that because they had were easily influenced by that group of negative people.
This reminds me of the crab in a bucket story. If you try to put one crab in a bucket, the crab will easily get out. But if you put more than two crabs in a bucket, the other crab that tries to get out will be pulled down by the other crab. Making it nearly impossible for both crabs to get out.
However, if you're a strong person and minimally affected by your friend negative energy, the amount of change of the person would not be great. The return in investment is not worth the time spent.
You can change hairstyles, you can change clothes, you can change careers easily, but it's fucking nearly impossible to change a person.
Instead, the best way to influence a person is to lead by example. Lead a positive lifestyle and try not to change people. You can change people, only when they admit they have a problem or they see how well you're doing and they want to copy it.
In my opinion, the best way to change yourself are to lead a positive lifestyle and to have a positive role model/mentor (it can be a someone famous, or somebody close to you) and to keep on doing different things.
Inertia - How To Apply It In Your Life
Hi everyone,
I'm sorry to disappoint you again but i haven't yet produce my niche website yet. The positive news is that i have produce six articles for my site. I still require a lot more, but it's a start.
So that brings us to the theory of inertia. If we keep on staying or doing the same thing everyday it is very hard for us to move. It requires too much effort and if we do initiate something we just get bored easily and quit early.
Newton's First Law of Motion states that:
"An object will stay at rest or continue at a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force".
If you're a person that is focused, gets things done straightaway and move on to the next thing immediately, you're doing things at such a face pace that it will be hard for anyone to try to stop you. This is a frame of mind i should aim for. Try to build up momentum and don't let it slow you down.
I'm sorry to disappoint you again but i haven't yet produce my niche website yet. The positive news is that i have produce six articles for my site. I still require a lot more, but it's a start.
So that brings us to the theory of inertia. If we keep on staying or doing the same thing everyday it is very hard for us to move. It requires too much effort and if we do initiate something we just get bored easily and quit early.
Newton's First Law of Motion states that:
"An object will stay at rest or continue at a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force".
If you're a person that is focused, gets things done straightaway and move on to the next thing immediately, you're doing things at such a face pace that it will be hard for anyone to try to stop you. This is a frame of mind i should aim for. Try to build up momentum and don't let it slow you down.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Very Last Lecture of a Dying Professor
This is an inspirational video about a professor with terminal cancer.
Randy Pausch, a Computer Science Professor at Carnegie-Mellon University who was suffering from Pancreatic Cancer and died just weeks after giving his “last Lecture.”
There are several gems in this video like:
"Experience is what you get when you can't get what you what in life". This is absolutely true.
The other quote he said was, “Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren’t there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things…the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough!”. A lot of people will just give up when they try to achieve something and yet is they push themselves just a bit further, you can overcome the obstacle.
Randy Pausch, a Computer Science Professor at Carnegie-Mellon University who was suffering from Pancreatic Cancer and died just weeks after giving his “last Lecture.”
There are several gems in this video like:
"Experience is what you get when you can't get what you what in life". This is absolutely true.
The other quote he said was, “Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren’t there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things…the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough!”. A lot of people will just give up when they try to achieve something and yet is they push themselves just a bit further, you can overcome the obstacle.
Monday, January 21, 2008
4 Reasons Why Resolutions Don't Work (Part 1)
Hi all!
Lately i'm been a very bad boy! I've been very lazy.
This weekend, I read a few things i needed to do but have not committed to any certain tasks to achieve my goals for this year. What i usually say to myself when committing to a task are:
1. "I can/might do this later...."
2. "This is too hard.."
3. "I need to do something else first. eg have a shower, brush my teeth, watch my favourite TV show, blah, blah..."
4. "I'm too tired.."
Basically, I need to stop making excuses. Even though you make mistakes, you need to keep going no matter what. That's how you learn.
Remember the first time you rode your first bicycle? During the first few tries you going to fall down and sometimes you will get a few bruises. But once you get a hang of it, it will seem natural. The first step is always the hardest.
That reminds me of New Year Resolutions. I remember why last years new year resolutions didn't work properly. One of the resolutions i had was to quit my job and find better work and make a million dollars by the end of the year.
The problem with the new year resolution was that there was no specific goals at all. Let's have a look at it closely:
I said i promise to quit my job, which i did by the way didn't do but i found a better part time job but overall, not that satisfying. The problem was too vague, focused on the negative stuff and therefore no set target to achieve. For example, what kind of new job do you want? Do you want a new job but in a different field of work?
To be continued....part 2
Lately i'm been a very bad boy! I've been very lazy.
This weekend, I read a few things i needed to do but have not committed to any certain tasks to achieve my goals for this year. What i usually say to myself when committing to a task are:
1. "I can/might do this later...."
2. "This is too hard.."
3. "I need to do something else first. eg have a shower, brush my teeth, watch my favourite TV show, blah, blah..."
4. "I'm too tired.."
Basically, I need to stop making excuses. Even though you make mistakes, you need to keep going no matter what. That's how you learn.
Remember the first time you rode your first bicycle? During the first few tries you going to fall down and sometimes you will get a few bruises. But once you get a hang of it, it will seem natural. The first step is always the hardest.
That reminds me of New Year Resolutions. I remember why last years new year resolutions didn't work properly. One of the resolutions i had was to quit my job and find better work and make a million dollars by the end of the year.
The problem with the new year resolution was that there was no specific goals at all. Let's have a look at it closely:
I said i promise to quit my job, which i did by the way didn't do but i found a better part time job but overall, not that satisfying. The problem was too vague, focused on the negative stuff and therefore no set target to achieve. For example, what kind of new job do you want? Do you want a new job but in a different field of work?
To be continued....part 2
4 Reasons Why Resolutions Don't Work (Part 2)
continued from part 1:
Ok, now the other resolution - to make a million dollars. There was a huge problem, it was unrealistic. My brain thought it was so unrealistic that my brain thought that i was full of shit. What you believe becomes reality. I didn't believe it and therefore i am still in the same shit as before.
So here's my solution: To make a commitment to my goals. No excuses are allowed. Just fucking do it. FULL STOP. No wonder girls complain about guys being committed.
To do this, i need to create a specific goal. If you want to shoot a missile guided bomb at a building site accurately 100km away and and avoid innocent casualties you to need to input accurate co-ordinates. You can't just say it's around the building that has yellow pokadots and looks like a dildo. It has to be very specific and within a time frame. It also need to be written down on a blog like this or a piece of paper so your brain can remember.
I had given this advice to one of my friend last year. To my surprise, nearly all the goals he achieved actually happened!
The thing about me is that i gave advice but i usually don't follow my own advice. I wasn't 100% committed!
So here are my goals for this year:
I will create 10 niche web sites this year. With each niche i would create or outsource 120 quality articles for each niche to be included on my web sites or distributed out to main article web resources so that it would allow to increase my web page traffic. It will allow me make at least $80,000 by the end of the year mainly through adsense and some through other campaigns. I would have to tough it out. I would not make any excuses from preventing me from doing this. I have to keep focus and not to stray away from my goal. If i do, then i would fail. I will be 100% committed!
Shit this is a long post.
Ok, I'm fucking off. Have a nice day.
Tuey
Ok, now the other resolution - to make a million dollars. There was a huge problem, it was unrealistic. My brain thought it was so unrealistic that my brain thought that i was full of shit. What you believe becomes reality. I didn't believe it and therefore i am still in the same shit as before.
So here's my solution: To make a commitment to my goals. No excuses are allowed. Just fucking do it. FULL STOP. No wonder girls complain about guys being committed.
To do this, i need to create a specific goal. If you want to shoot a missile guided bomb at a building site accurately 100km away and and avoid innocent casualties you to need to input accurate co-ordinates. You can't just say it's around the building that has yellow pokadots and looks like a dildo. It has to be very specific and within a time frame. It also need to be written down on a blog like this or a piece of paper so your brain can remember.
I had given this advice to one of my friend last year. To my surprise, nearly all the goals he achieved actually happened!
The thing about me is that i gave advice but i usually don't follow my own advice. I wasn't 100% committed!
So here are my goals for this year:
I will create 10 niche web sites this year. With each niche i would create or outsource 120 quality articles for each niche to be included on my web sites or distributed out to main article web resources so that it would allow to increase my web page traffic. It will allow me make at least $80,000 by the end of the year mainly through adsense and some through other campaigns. I would have to tough it out. I would not make any excuses from preventing me from doing this. I have to keep focus and not to stray away from my goal. If i do, then i would fail. I will be 100% committed!
Shit this is a long post.
Ok, I'm fucking off. Have a nice day.
Tuey
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