A few days ago, one of my friends did one of the most uncomfortable thing he done in his life. I was proud of him. I'm not going to discuss it here to protect his privacy.
What he did was that he was planning to do that 'thing' within a month time. I was surprised that he did it a few days instead of a month or worse, never. If he acted later, he would had more sleepless nights, more worry and eventually his emotional state would negatively impact on other people as well.
He was courageous and just did it. When you become courageous, you automatically become confident.
You don't get courage from sitting on your ass all day, contemplating on how and why you should do it. He just did it. Full stop.
He picked the one thing that was the most uncomfortable and did that first. Not only did it kill off any procrastination, it built up his courage. Action cures fear. Even though it was painful for him to do it initially but it lifted up a huge weight off his shoulder.
So if you want to build up a courage, do the most uncomfortable thing first and don't hesitate - like the nike logo says - Just Do It.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The Secret of Selling
I was talking to one of my client a week ago. We were talking about life, her job and eventually she was talking about her son.
She told me that her son was a car salesman. She told me that he was so successful that the car manufacturer in Japan had his name stuck on their wall. He was selling on average, 39 cars a month. This is an average only, imagine how much he would sell on a good month and some salesman are lucky to sell 10 cars a month.
Immediately in my mind that I thought his son was a sort of mind reader or have some special mind powers that he could manipulate people. I was wrong. The secret that he had was not very obvious and counterintuitive.
The secret of his technique was that he is 100% honest with his customers. I was shocked. I thought you have to manipulate people in buying things they don't want.
If you are honest, you automatically create trust with that person. If you manipulate people, they will build mental barriers towards you. They can't trust anything what you say.
Building trust also means more word of mouth and more repeat business. Have you ever bought something from a person who promise your product to deliver certain results but didn't deliver? Would you go back to see that person again?
Conversely, if a salesperson sells you something and is honest and directly warns you that the product might break down and you might be disappointed with the product. Would you still go back to the same person?
She told me that her son was a car salesman. She told me that he was so successful that the car manufacturer in Japan had his name stuck on their wall. He was selling on average, 39 cars a month. This is an average only, imagine how much he would sell on a good month and some salesman are lucky to sell 10 cars a month.
Immediately in my mind that I thought his son was a sort of mind reader or have some special mind powers that he could manipulate people. I was wrong. The secret that he had was not very obvious and counterintuitive.
The secret of his technique was that he is 100% honest with his customers. I was shocked. I thought you have to manipulate people in buying things they don't want.
If you are honest, you automatically create trust with that person. If you manipulate people, they will build mental barriers towards you. They can't trust anything what you say.
Building trust also means more word of mouth and more repeat business. Have you ever bought something from a person who promise your product to deliver certain results but didn't deliver? Would you go back to see that person again?
Conversely, if a salesperson sells you something and is honest and directly warns you that the product might break down and you might be disappointed with the product. Would you still go back to the same person?
Friday, February 8, 2008
Getting Experience Is Not Free
Lately, one of my friend was scammed through ebay. He loss a good sum of money. During the intial stage of the process, everything went pretty smoothly. He trusted this seller.
After he sent his money over via Western Union (never ever transfer money to strangers via Western Union - you can't get a refund back), everything went pear shape. The seller confirmed that he sent it and when my friend asked him for a tracking number he told my friend to wait for 10 mins while so he can contact his boss in africa to give him the details.
Well, 1 hour had passed and no tracking number. He then argued with my friend because he said that he didn't trust him. Finally, he said he going to send it by DHL but he has to pay extra shipping cost.
Seems like every time he talks to this guy, he tries to milk more money of my friend.
Now, my friend is really pissed off. He got the phone number of this guy and wants to hunt him down if his legit.
All he can really do is to wait to see if the package arrives or learn from his mistakes.
Just think of it as tuition fee for your experience. This is what Jesse Livermore, the greatest stock trader ever lived said,
"The loss of the money didn't bother me. Whenever I have lost money in the stock market I have always considered that I have learned something; that if I have lost money I have gained experience, so that the money really went for a tuition fee. A man has to have experience and he has to pay for it."
After he sent his money over via Western Union (never ever transfer money to strangers via Western Union - you can't get a refund back), everything went pear shape. The seller confirmed that he sent it and when my friend asked him for a tracking number he told my friend to wait for 10 mins while so he can contact his boss in africa to give him the details.
Well, 1 hour had passed and no tracking number. He then argued with my friend because he said that he didn't trust him. Finally, he said he going to send it by DHL but he has to pay extra shipping cost.
Seems like every time he talks to this guy, he tries to milk more money of my friend.
Now, my friend is really pissed off. He got the phone number of this guy and wants to hunt him down if his legit.
All he can really do is to wait to see if the package arrives or learn from his mistakes.
Just think of it as tuition fee for your experience. This is what Jesse Livermore, the greatest stock trader ever lived said,
"The loss of the money didn't bother me. Whenever I have lost money in the stock market I have always considered that I have learned something; that if I have lost money I have gained experience, so that the money really went for a tuition fee. A man has to have experience and he has to pay for it."
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Burn Your English Grammar Books
Lately, I've been re-reading my old posts and posts from other blogs. What i notice so far is that the most interesting posts are usually posts that have shitty grammar and spelling mistakes but are written from their heart. It doesn't matter what it say but how they say it.
The good posts i noticed were usually emotionally driven. They had something they want to talk about. I don't want to read a blog about the anatomy of a brain - it would be too boring, too rigid, it would feel like a boring sermon at church.
Instead, I want to read a post about why a crazy surgeon chopped a man head off just so he could look at his brain and then make a soup out of his brain afterwards. MMMMM.....Yummy!!
Anyway, who reads academic texts books in their spare time? Do you read a text book when you take a dump?
...maybe some nerds do, but most people don't. In fact, i bet you one dollar that most people will read one of those trashy tabloid magazines or if you're really horny, look at pornos.
Be honest. I know some of you do. I know some of you have weird fetishes by the way.
Anyway, that's all i want to say now.
P.S I don't read pornos in the toilet - just to let you know.
The good posts i noticed were usually emotionally driven. They had something they want to talk about. I don't want to read a blog about the anatomy of a brain - it would be too boring, too rigid, it would feel like a boring sermon at church.
Instead, I want to read a post about why a crazy surgeon chopped a man head off just so he could look at his brain and then make a soup out of his brain afterwards. MMMMM.....Yummy!!
Anyway, who reads academic texts books in their spare time? Do you read a text book when you take a dump?
...maybe some nerds do, but most people don't. In fact, i bet you one dollar that most people will read one of those trashy tabloid magazines or if you're really horny, look at pornos.
Be honest. I know some of you do. I know some of you have weird fetishes by the way.
Anyway, that's all i want to say now.
P.S I don't read pornos in the toilet - just to let you know.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Two Reasons Why You're Not Successful
Im been thinking very seriously why a lot of smart people are not successful. I watch a DVD program called, 'Get Altitude', it said the reason people are prevented from success are due to:
1. Emotional Estimation
People are horrible in predicting how the future will make us feel. For example, if we do something we think its going to make us feel good or if you do something else, its going to make you feel bad. Or if you feel good about something, then you think its going to be good. (its probably usually wrong - see my below post about uncomfortable decisions for further explanation)
2. Seeing and Seeking Only Validation
I was thinking about this seriously, when i was playing poker, i was seeing the things where i made the right decisions but i didn't really see where i was wrong. I keep thinking i was the best but i was probably was making an amateur mistake. I had a big ego.
To solve this he said you require:
Data driven decisions - When was the last time you track your results? With playing poker - i never ever track my resullts i.e win/loss rate, amount usually bet etc. Your mind can't argue with numbers. Numbers dont have an opinion, they can't tell you personally how good you are.
Test, Model, Project - Do a test, build a little model with the results, and then project.
1. Emotional Estimation
People are horrible in predicting how the future will make us feel. For example, if we do something we think its going to make us feel good or if you do something else, its going to make you feel bad. Or if you feel good about something, then you think its going to be good. (its probably usually wrong - see my below post about uncomfortable decisions for further explanation)
2. Seeing and Seeking Only Validation
I was thinking about this seriously, when i was playing poker, i was seeing the things where i made the right decisions but i didn't really see where i was wrong. I keep thinking i was the best but i was probably was making an amateur mistake. I had a big ego.
To solve this he said you require:
Data driven decisions - When was the last time you track your results? With playing poker - i never ever track my resullts i.e win/loss rate, amount usually bet etc. Your mind can't argue with numbers. Numbers dont have an opinion, they can't tell you personally how good you are.
Test, Model, Project - Do a test, build a little model with the results, and then project.
Don't Fall Into Becoming The Victim
When i lost a ton of money a few hours ago, I wanted to tell my friend that i lost a ton of money - I wanted him to feel sorry for me. I wanted someone to acknowledge that i had done a big mistake.
It felt like being congratulated for losing shitloads of money or felt sorry for. Retrospecting on this, i think this is the worse thing that i can do. Everytime i do this, i make people feel sorry for me. This is unfair to them - because i'm manipulating them and i havent learnt a thing.
In fact, i will eventually keep making the same mistakes and i become the victim due to my own self-manipulation. Have you ever had any friends that you feel sorry for? If you look deeper into this person, the person is actually manipulating you and himself/herself - and they don't even realize it. Most of the time, they want attention and approval.
I think this is my weakness - wanting attention and approval. But i think it's not best to dwell on it. I need to let it go. That's the hardest thing, letting it go.
It felt like being congratulated for losing shitloads of money or felt sorry for. Retrospecting on this, i think this is the worse thing that i can do. Everytime i do this, i make people feel sorry for me. This is unfair to them - because i'm manipulating them and i havent learnt a thing.
In fact, i will eventually keep making the same mistakes and i become the victim due to my own self-manipulation. Have you ever had any friends that you feel sorry for? If you look deeper into this person, the person is actually manipulating you and himself/herself - and they don't even realize it. Most of the time, they want attention and approval.
I think this is my weakness - wanting attention and approval. But i think it's not best to dwell on it. I need to let it go. That's the hardest thing, letting it go.
Why I Keep Repeating Mistakes
I feel numb. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't know why i keep repeating the same mistake but i can tell you why i started to gamble.
Here's why:
I'm in dire financial state. In a month time, I've got university next month and i have to work less - which means less money in the bank. I got no saving. So i'm desperate for money. I know only one way that i can make money quick i.e gamble on poker and blackjack. I know that blackjack have a negative expectation (it can't be beaten - unless you use a special money management strategy and you can count cards. You need tons of money to absorb the swings and you have to be a good card counter. Plus, it only works with shoes. Casinos (except in Skycity) nowadays only have continuous shuffling machine which makes counting pointless. Fuck i just talking out of my ass now.....). With poker, I know that i'm good at it - but it requires extra concentration and patience. Once you go on 'tilt' or lose focus, everything can fall apart.
There's another way to make money, to start up my own online business or work extra hours at my physio place. I have avoided doing this for the past week as it would take some effort and occupy a lot of my time. I started doing it and haven't got to finish anything. I know this would make me money. Seems like i was being too lazy.
It seems like i'm taking the short route to riches. Looking back, most of the big mistakes i had was because i looked at the short term. You know, i go buy that lottery ticket or instant scratchie. Pop a few bucks in the poker machine in hope to win a quick grand.
Most of the time i never look at the long term. I know that if i fail in the short term, i always got backup to help me with finance. I know this is not good for me or my family. If i keep on depending on them then i keep on making my mistakes and i know they will bail me out.
The other reason i wanted to make money quick is for validation. I do it to show i off - tell people how good i am playing poker or how quick i made the money. Validation is weakness. It means that you're insecure in yourself so you have to prove that you're good.
In my own little fantasy, i want to buy a big house, have a hot girlfriend, cool car, go on exotic holidays etc to show off to friends and family. But does it really matter?
In the end, when you're 80 yrs old, nobody going to give a shit that you have a big house, a cool sports car and your hot girlfriend will eventually have multiple facial reconstruction that she would like look a half breed version of Madonna and your hairy ass. I'm not sure what to do here but fuck, i need to change something.
Here's why:
I'm in dire financial state. In a month time, I've got university next month and i have to work less - which means less money in the bank. I got no saving. So i'm desperate for money. I know only one way that i can make money quick i.e gamble on poker and blackjack. I know that blackjack have a negative expectation (it can't be beaten - unless you use a special money management strategy and you can count cards. You need tons of money to absorb the swings and you have to be a good card counter. Plus, it only works with shoes. Casinos (except in Skycity) nowadays only have continuous shuffling machine which makes counting pointless. Fuck i just talking out of my ass now.....). With poker, I know that i'm good at it - but it requires extra concentration and patience. Once you go on 'tilt' or lose focus, everything can fall apart.
There's another way to make money, to start up my own online business or work extra hours at my physio place. I have avoided doing this for the past week as it would take some effort and occupy a lot of my time. I started doing it and haven't got to finish anything. I know this would make me money. Seems like i was being too lazy.
It seems like i'm taking the short route to riches. Looking back, most of the big mistakes i had was because i looked at the short term. You know, i go buy that lottery ticket or instant scratchie. Pop a few bucks in the poker machine in hope to win a quick grand.
Most of the time i never look at the long term. I know that if i fail in the short term, i always got backup to help me with finance. I know this is not good for me or my family. If i keep on depending on them then i keep on making my mistakes and i know they will bail me out.
The other reason i wanted to make money quick is for validation. I do it to show i off - tell people how good i am playing poker or how quick i made the money. Validation is weakness. It means that you're insecure in yourself so you have to prove that you're good.
In my own little fantasy, i want to buy a big house, have a hot girlfriend, cool car, go on exotic holidays etc to show off to friends and family. But does it really matter?
In the end, when you're 80 yrs old, nobody going to give a shit that you have a big house, a cool sports car and your hot girlfriend will eventually have multiple facial reconstruction that she would like look a half breed version of Madonna and your hairy ass. I'm not sure what to do here but fuck, i need to change something.
Argghhhhhh!!!
I have reached a new low. I've gambled most of my wages away. This is disgusting. I feel really really low. I have turned into a degenerate gambler. A zombie. What have i done to myself?
This sucks. I need someone to kick my ass. I don't know why i do this to myself? I was winning big on blackjack and felt like i could last forever. Eventually the negative expectation of blackjack has caught up to me. I was stupid enough to play blackjack. I know that the house will always win. I lost a shit load of money on that.
I then went to play poker. I was up to about $1000. I played really good. I was able to read their cards and maximize my winnings. Then with one hand, everything blew apart. I had a flush on the turn and one guy had trips and another had two pair. I was way ahead on the turn. Then BANG! i repeater hit the river to fill up with full house. The lucky bastard, he had at least 20% chance to win, while i was way, way ahead. That fucking river cost me $900. I would've been up by $1300.
Fuck!!! Fuck!!!!
Need to reevaluate my life. This sucks man.
This sucks. I need someone to kick my ass. I don't know why i do this to myself? I was winning big on blackjack and felt like i could last forever. Eventually the negative expectation of blackjack has caught up to me. I was stupid enough to play blackjack. I know that the house will always win. I lost a shit load of money on that.
I then went to play poker. I was up to about $1000. I played really good. I was able to read their cards and maximize my winnings. Then with one hand, everything blew apart. I had a flush on the turn and one guy had trips and another had two pair. I was way ahead on the turn. Then BANG! i repeater hit the river to fill up with full house. The lucky bastard, he had at least 20% chance to win, while i was way, way ahead. That fucking river cost me $900. I would've been up by $1300.
Fuck!!! Fuck!!!!
Need to reevaluate my life. This sucks man.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Choosing the most uncomfortable option is almost always the best option
3 Years ago, I was told by my friend to buy property in a rapidly growing area. despite my friend plea to buy it, I choose not to. I choosed the most comfortable option. Today, the house value almost doubled and since then I had almost regretted my decision.
My thinking back then was that I thought it was too risky but I certainly knew the house would have appreciated - but I never knew it would grew a lot more.
The reason I thought it was risky was because I choose the long term pain instead of the short term pain. it was the most comfortable thing to do - doing nothing.
I read a financial book about great market traders called market wizards. it explained the most successful stock traders are usually doing the opposite what the general heard are doing.
For example, if the market would go down, the crowd would usually bet it would go up, thinking there is a lot of value in the stock.
Whereas, the great traders would do the opposite, bet it would go down. most people would feel really uncomfortable betting the market would go down. instead, they would choose the most comfortable option, bet it will go up. This is usually the worst option because the chances the market will fall is greater.
This can apply in anything in life. eg are you currently in a bad relationship and in the future you know it won't lasy. would you choose the long pain - hoping that he/she would change, or the short term pain?
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